What I love about Minnie...

I have written a post about why I love Bruno, I even wrote a post about why I loved Tim (before he chomped on my son and subsequently found a new home). But I never got around to writing one about Minnie.

Now seems like the best time.

We found a growth on her back leg right after Easter this year. We went to our vet and was referred to a surgeon. Through all the visits we discovered she had a form of bone cancer that was manifesting itself by an aggressive tumor. The doctors suggested amputation. After researching it, and getting estimates, we made the painful decision that amputation was not for Minnie. Large breeds don't manage well at all with amputation of limb. There was no guarantee that a tumor would not manifest somewhere else. And frankly, she might not survive the surgery. Not to mention that we would have to go into debt to pay for the surgery and after care.

We decided to manage her quality of life. With a couple medications, Minnie was able to keep her optimistic outlook on life and seemed unphased. But the tumor kept growing. And we noticed that when the tumor was in an active growth phase, Minnie would lose her appetite and get lethargic - most likely from pain. But Minnie always bounced back. We settled into a new kind of "normal" with her limitations and it was easy to think that we could go on like this forever.

What started out looking like a swollen bug bite in April had taken over her entire leg from the leg down by October. I was becoming concerned when we left for our family reunion. When we returned there was something different about Minnie. She had lost her appetite and didn't feel like doing much other than laying around. She had a hard time managing the stairs going up and down to go potty. She couldn't get comfortable....anywhere. She couldn't hop on our bed anymore.

Then she quit eating. We were able to sneak spoonfuls of peanut butter in her mouth with her medication. But even that didn't help anymore. Then she started throwing up. Alot. She couldn't even drink water without throwing up immediately. We knew that the end was coming and we called the vet and made an appointment for October 25th at 11:30pm. The day before I had knelt down in the closet and snuggled her. Her expressive eyes felt like they were probing me for relief. I whispered that it was okay, she would feel better soon. Luke came over and kissed her twice and gave her a pet. Late that night after Matt came home from work, he went to her and said good-bye. He was having a hard time with her being so sick and the inevitable, but he finally was able to give her what she needed. That must have been what she had been waiting for.

At four in the morning October 25th, I heard the dogs getting rowdy. I thought it was just Bruno because Minnie hadn't been able to get up for her midnight potty breaks in a while. But when I opened my eyes there was Minnie, her nose in my face, like he had been doing for the past 5 years. I sat up and pulled her face close and was just stroking her head. He pushed her nose into my side like she did when she was feeling extra snuggly. Then she lost her balance and fell on the floor. Bruno started hopping around and I assumed it was because he needed out. I took him down and opened the door. He just wandered around looking at me. It was like he knew what was happening and had gotten loud to wake us up. Then I heard Minnie get up and collapse again upstairs. Matt woke up. She started crying. Matt came downstairs to get me and when we got back to our room she was gone.

We were and still are broken hearted. Minnie was a huge part of our lives for 5 years. She was special. And our whole family is struggling to find our new normal life without her. I know it may seem ridiculous to feel so devastated over a pet. I honestly didn't think I would be feeling this sad. So I can't rationalize. But this is my blog and I can write whatever I feel the need to.

So today, I am going to tell you all the things I love about Minnie:

1.) We brought Minnie into our home just a month after we lost our first child. She was able to help us find happiness in our day to day lives which had been so desolate.

2.) She had window friends, just like Anne of Green Gables. It was the most hilarious thing watching her trying to get her reflection to play tug of war.

3.) Minnie loved watching TV. But only other animals. And if they got feisty, she would charge the TV trying to protect us.

4.) I loved watching Minnie run. She was always thin, and when she would let loose and really run, she looked like a grey hound. She was SO fast. And you could tell by the look on her face that it was the best feeling for her.

5.) The first time I met my sister in law Mary, Minnie had come prancing out of our bedroom with a bright red piece on lingerie on her head - looking so proud of herself. It was mortifying. But it's still one of my favorite memories.

6.) I love that Minnie always thought she was a lap dog. And when she got so big that she couldn't fit anymore, she would just back up to you and sit her bum on  your lap. She made it work.

7.) I love how she and Bruno would kiss each other every morning.

8.) I love how smart and dumb she was at the same time. She is smart enough to know how to open her kennel and turn the water spigot on outside but couldn't figure out some of the most basic things. Total blond.

9.) I remember how stressed out she would be at her puppy classes. Her eyes would be blood shot by the end of the 30 min - 1 hour class.

10.) Minnie was very in tune with the emotional energy around her. If I was having a hard day, she would always come snuggle me.

11.) I love how much she loved Luke. She would let him get away with anything. They were the best playmates.

12.) I love how close Bruno and Minnie were. Every morning they would greet each other and every night they would snuggle up together. We had to set up grooming and vet appointments for them to go together because they hated being separated. Two peas in a pod despite how opposite their personalities were.

13.) I love how she could wake me out of a dead sleep in the middle of the night just by standing next to the bed and staring at me.

14.) I love how she would sneak up on our bed in the middle of the night and snuggle up.

15.) Most of all I love how she had such an open heart. Minnie never met someone she didn't like. Unconditional love.


I could keep listing all the things I love about Minnie, but this will do. We miss her but know that we'll meet her on the Rainbow Bridge someday. And it's a comfort to know that she is no longer in any pain and is free to run again.